Every one of us is fully capable of learning and applying any type of behaviour.
The reality however, is that we have strong natural preferences that make us adopt a relatively restricted and predictable portfolio of behaviours.
We automatically select the behaviours that we naturally prefer, preferences become habits and habits form our style, they become who we are; getting out of our habitual style is not only hard work, it also feels like a self-betrayal.
We usually continue to behave in our predictable ways, according to our preferred STYLE, unless or until some type of “motivator” comes about, to ignite our interest to change.
A typical motivator can be the realisation that our preferred behaviour does not serve our purpose (e.g. I find out that taking outsiders through my full analytical process might overwhelm them, so I learn to identify and share only key points), or the need to fit into a new environment (e.g. I notice that polite manners are different in a different culture and learn new ways), the desire to learn new skills for a new job (e.g. I understand we work in teams and I learn to share responsibility), or the wish to test ourselves in new ways, stretch and grow (e.g. I tend to talk with one person at a time, but I would like to extend my reach and influence, so I decide to train in public speaking).
The common denominator of all motivators is AWARENESS. I must first become aware that my behaviour may at time clash with my intention, local culture, job demands or new opportunity requirements, in order to start to consider a behavioural change.
The trick here is in the expression “at times”.
Every behaviour has positive effects in some cases, and poses risks or is ineffective in other cases. For example: it is useful to learn to communicate with simple bullet points to top management, but it might alienate an expert audience who are thirsty for details; it is useful to learn to kick off my shoes at the door when visiting a Norwegian friend, yet I need to remember to keep my shoes on when invited by Italians; I must learn to share responsibility when working in teams, but not at the expense of personal accountability. And I’d better not forget to listen and adapt to a conversation flow, even after learning to prepare a fixed speech for a public presentation.
Handling conflicts is one of the most complex situations that leaders have to frequently deal with; whether I am suddenly faced with a conflict, a disagreement that suddenly escalates to a personal and unproductive confrontation; I am called to help resolve a conflict by way of arbitration or facilitation; or I wish to raise a healthy conflict in order to challenge the status quo and stimulate innovative thinking, I probably need to apply a rather diversified set of behaviours.
My own style can make me very influential and effective in some situations and very ineffective in other situations.
Knowing my style and learning to recognise its pros and cons, is a good starting point to acquire additional skills to add to my portfolio.
But how can I find out more?
Unlike personality tests that assign us a fixed label, attitude or preference tests help us realise our opportunities and potential, guiding our development.
The Conflict Attitude Profile (CAP) Test falls in the latter category. Derived from the neuroscience based, comprehensive and rigorously documented PRISM Brain Mapping Assessment, CAP is focused on providing a simple way to become better aware of our conflict handling skills and at the same time to identify what else would be useful to add to our skills portfolio.
Take the CAP test and learn:
- what are your natural conflict management skills, the ones that you can always count on for successfully tackling conflicts
- what are your watch-out’s, or the weak spots that make you sometimes being less than your very best in conflicts or difficult conversations
- useful tips to help you expand your ability to deal with conflicts without feeling anxious or uncomfortable, and to become more influential
Take the CAP Test now
If you want to know more about how you can further develop your influential skills, master international negotiations, or strengthen your confidence when dealing with difficult conversations, read more at
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on September 8, 2016, at 10:00 CET
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