Most people are anxious about facing disagreements. Some of us tend to get defensive or shut up, some may become righteous and overpowering; usually, once we “cool down” we regret our choice of behaviour and wonder if there is a different, more productive way.
Whether the difficult discussions are in the business arena (e.g. getting our proposal accepted, giving or receiving feedback, facing an upset client or a difficult boss, mediating a conflict between associates, negotiating for a promotion or interviewing for a new job, dealing with a disengaged colleague) or in the personal arena (e.g. clashes with relatives, overwhelming complaint sharing by friends or family, setting own limits or creating a personal space), we might feel like the victim of the situation, blame others or doubt that there can be a productive approach to moving ahead without too much giving in, shouting, forced compromise that please nobody or mutual suffering.
There is a lot that can be done in these situations, but most conflict handling courses may focus too much on trying to change others or the situation. By far the most effective approach is to investigate our own reactions, the thoughts and feelings that crowd our mind in front of these difficulties. When we identify the origins of our anxieties we can learn to stay “cool” even during the most heated conversations, offer our opinion effectively without being over-apologetic, aggressive or defensive and proactively engage others to sharing more of their views so that we can co-create a better understanding and a way forward.
Disagreements can actually become a trampoline for building from the diversity of our ideas and also to enjoy our relationships. Sounds unrealistic? It is actually not.
We all (hopefully) know some people who are able to stay calm and tackle difficult conversation with courage, confidence and influence; we can all learn to be like that. And then difficult conversations can actually become enjoyable ways to relate with others.
Our “CLEAR Mindset Leadership Fundamentals” training gets you started in this direction. Like many other business leaders have already experienced, you will learn how to clear your head of damaging assumptions, take responsibility for your feelings, open up to a mutually learning dialogue, tackle the ambiguities of co-creation and drive shared ownership – mutual accountability for a positive resolution. This method works! And, as testified by previous international participants, it is a fun way to learn.
You can attend one of our retreats (at the Grooa Inspiria Learning Center in the NL) or we can run the training for you and your team, at your preferred venue.
Get in contact with me and we can talk about your options: firstname.lastname@example.org
If you are intrigued or curious and still want to know more before getting in contact with me, watch these introductory videos:
This article is published by Laura Lozza, Managing Partner of Grooa AS, more info about Grooa: www.grooa.com